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Susette Magna is a therapist who has a podcast called The Desire Line.
Susette has such a passion for psychology, the human brain, and our connection with our faith. And guys, she’s just fun. I just love everything about her seriousness and her silliness. You’ll have to hear us chat about shame and identity. It starts off pretty light because I carry some strange shame adapted from a lisp I had as a kid. Then, Susette reveals shame she carried in her teens and early adulthood because of body image. I mean, we place a little bit of blame on the TV show 90210 and the movie Clueless for making us all feel like we had to walk around in a-line skirts and midriffs to be cool, but what teen isn’t affected by body image just a bit in the 90’s?
When we compare and contrast our unique experiences, it bring us to acknowledging that some shameful experiences can be laced with trauma. How we respond to that trauma affect how we function in our world. It was very healing to acknowledge that trauma is nuanced for each of us. Different experiences for each individual holds different weight. How someone experiences trauma can bring on shame.
In her own experience with shame, Susette tells a redemptive story of shame regarding her body image that involves a mall dressing room, a fancy dress with those darn side zippers, and a pair of scissors. We all have been caught in a dress in the dressing room, right? That’s stressful!!! Imagine having a huge connection with shame alongside it.
We contrast that shame story with another one where Susette had a breakthrough with recognizing shame. This one involves water bugs! (And how we see ourselves) 🙂 Believe it or not, this also was a very vulnerable moment for Susette and I am so appreciative of her sharing so we can feel those feeling alongside her. Most of her frustrations with her shame became subconscious thoughts that heap over time and attack her womanly heart: weight, homemaking, motherhood…all the parts of our identity.
Susette’s vulnerable heart is refreshing. I love that she is so open about her current disconnection with with God and her frustrations with infertility. She helped us see that by sharing all of this with her husband, language can battle the shame. Stating it out loud has become a weapon for fighting against it. Verbalizing, using language, is a way to cut shame.
Counseling and therapy is another great way to put language to shame. Knowing about the shame itself and finding your people that are safe to verbalize it to can be a great path to self discovery and proper mental and spiritual health.
You can train your friends to help you too. You can teach them and practice identifying shame and supporting one another as we build language for acknowledging it. Susette say Reading a bene brown book together can be a way to communicate shameful feelings with your people in your life. Also, Celebrate Recovery is a great group program to be a place to share your heart, identity your shame, and verbalize it.
Here are some resources Susette wanted to share with you about finding a therapist:
Psychologytoday.com is a good reference for people in need—most therapists are on it, so people can search through a complete list. It also has availability for therapists who do online therapy. You can see anyone licensed in your state for online.For anyone in California, you can begin therapy with Susette by emailing her here: susette@susettemagana.comChristians can call New Life Ministries too—they have therapist referrals in most states: 1-800-New-Life
We talk about shame and our relationship with God and the difference between shame and conviction. Shame becomes a buzzword in the Christian community. God’s conviction is gentle and with hope for change. Shame is the opposite and it’s isolating, none of Gods love is involved. Susette mentions a video Brene Brown has on shame and it’s posted below for you to check out.
When it comes to science and shame, Susette breaks it all down how our bodies can be trained to WANT to pursue God more when we pray. The more we pray, the more specific parts of the brain that helps us cope with hard stuff grows and helps us process. It’s like our brain builds our faith through our experiences! How cool is that?!
Susette is thrilled to build a community among our Constantly Under Construction Podcast Tribe. She also has a podcast Facebook group for The Desire Line. Please, dive into both! I absolutely love what she is doing to connect people with themselves and our Creator.
